🚨 BREAKING: Kurt agrees to incremental changes in planning, then shits on incremental progress! 🚨
Building Products, Not Kurt's Ego
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🚨 LATEST KURT UPDATE 🚨

Kurt just threw the development team under the bus in front of the client after agreeing to incremental naming changes in planning. When we delivered exactly what was planned, he criticized our "lack of innovation" and promised the client "revolutionary improvements" by next week. The team is now working overtime to fix problems that don't exist.

Welcome to the Product Management Survivors: Kurt Edition

Have you ever worked under a product manager who agrees with everything in private planning sessions, then publicly demolishes your work in front of clients? Where "incremental progress" becomes "disappointing results" the moment there's an audience? You're not alone. This coalition is dedicated to surviving toxic product management and supporting developers affected by Kurt's leadership style.

Disclaimer: This site is entirely satirical and not directed at any specific real person named Kurt. If your name is Kurt and you actually support your team, we salute you! You're the exception that proves the rule.

The Kurt Management Philosophy

Founded after the Great Sprint Review Massacre of 2023 (where Kurt spent 45 minutes explaining why our completed user stories "missed the vision"), our group has grown from a small Slack channel to an international movement of developers who've had enough of Kurt's upward-only management style.

Our mission is simple: document Kurt's patterns, support traumatized team members, and develop healthy coping mechanisms for when Kurt inevitably says, "This isn't what the client wanted" after approving the exact specifications.

847
Hours Wasted on Kurt's "Pivots"
23
Developers Who've Quit

Kurt's Most Common Management Violations

  • Agrees to incremental changes in planning, then criticizes incremental progress publicly
  • Praises team in private, throws them under the bus in front of clients
  • Never manages down, only manages up - horrible to his reports, charming to executives
  • Changes requirements mid-sprint without updating timelines
  • Takes credit for team successes, blames team for his failures
  • Promises clients features that don't exist and aren't planned
  • Schedules "quick syncs" that last 2 hours with no agenda
  • Uses buzzwords like "synergy" and "disruptive innovation" unironically
  • Asks for "rough estimates" then treats them as hard deadlines
  • Interrupts demos to explain what the team "should have built instead"
  • Creates Jira tickets with descriptions like "make it better" and "add more features"
  • Cancels retrospectives because "we don't have time for feelings"

Development Team Survivor Testimonials

"Kurt agreed to our phased rollout approach in planning. When we delivered phase 1 exactly as specified, he told the client it was 'disappointing' and promised a complete redesign by Friday. I worked 80 hours that week to rebuild something that was already working."
- Sarah, Senior Developer
"In our 1:1, Kurt said my code quality was excellent and I was ready for a promotion. The next day in the team meeting, he questioned my technical decisions in front of everyone and suggested I needed more mentoring. I'm updating my resume."
- Mike, Full Stack Developer
"Kurt promised the CEO that our naming convention changes would 'revolutionize the user experience.' When we delivered the incremental improvements he approved, he acted like we had failed to meet expectations. The CEO thinks our team is incompetent now."
- Jessica, Frontend Lead
"I've never seen Kurt defend his team to upper management. Ever. He'll agree with our concerns in private, then present them as 'team challenges' to executives. Meanwhile, he takes full credit for anything that goes well. It's exhausting."
- David, DevOps Engineer

The Official Kurt Toxicity Trackerâ„¢

Check today's Team Morale Prediction:

â–¼
Survivable
Resume Update

Today's Toxicity Level: CRITICAL - Kurt just scheduled a "strategy alignment session" after the client complained about the incremental changes he previously approved. Expected outcome: public humiliation, private apologies, and weekend work. Update your LinkedIn profiles.

The 12 Steps to Surviving Kurt's Management

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over Kurt's inconsistency—that our sprints had become unmanageable.

Step 6: We were entirely ready to have Kurt removed from our team structure.

Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of working under Kurt, we tried to carry this message to other developers and practice good management in all our affairs.

Join us for workshops on documentation strategies, CYA email techniques, and emergency job search tactics.

Join Our Recovery from Kurt Recovery